dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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