apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
