Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
