Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
