Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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