then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
this is an emotional support booty call
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
