I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
