can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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