So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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