I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
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