you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize
