What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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