he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
