it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
