i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
