she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
