My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
