Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
