She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Randomize
