There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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