Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I came so hard my ears popped.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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