The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
