we made out on top of his cat.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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