She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
