maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
