next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
