I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
