I think scott just propositioned me for sex
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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