Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
