we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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