Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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