Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
