How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
