Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Randomize
