yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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