you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
