he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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