i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I want to walk on stilts...naked
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
