He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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