Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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