So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
