whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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