I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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