I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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