Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
