mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
