Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
