I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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