Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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