his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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