mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
