you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
